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What now?

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea... I have this dream in my head, like many other millenials which isn't surprising, of living in a van and traveling the country taking picturesque photos on mountain tops and sitting on cliffs overlooking treetops changing color in the fall. But how in the world do those people do it? Where in the world do they start?.... Where do I find the right vehicle, how do I minimize all the random crap in my room that has literally just taken up space but I don't have the heart to get rid of?... Lastly, how does a single girl get the guts to wander out on her own especially after what happened to that beautiful girl Gabby Petito?.... So.... many.... questions.....

So here I am, starting a new quest sitting on my bed in my childhood home trying to come up with the answers to all these questions. All while continuing getting my second degree in Biological Science, battling the depression and anxiety brought on by losing my mom, as well as the tiny little demons in my head telling me that "i'll never be able to succeed", "you can't even afford a trip to the grocery store", paired with the ever so popular "why are you trying to do something so extravagant when you can't even lose the weight that you have been trying to lose for the past three years".... those demons are ruthless and rude but I can't seem to evict them no matter how hard I try.

I unfortunately have this habit of over analyzing everything, getting stressed, giving up, getting mad that I gave up, try to fix where I failed and then start the whole cycle all over again. So I am hoping that recording my movements and holding myself accountable will make it easier and hopefully connecting me to the resources I need to help make my dream come true. So if anyone has any advice, please, help a girl out.

Now what is my goal exactly? Not only am looking forward to a life of adventure, seeing all 50 states, as well as gaining comfort in my independence, I also love history. Some of the many exciting destinations on my list are Gettysburg, the Capitol, Civil War battlefields, and anything in between. At some point I hope to travel internationally as well, now I know you can't travel across the oceans in a van... so hopefully I will be able to establish a reliable enough income to get there... otherwise I guess I will swim. #sharkbait

I would love to become someone that travels to places people have longed to go but were unsure whether or not it was worth the price, giving them the information they need to take the leap. Learning more in-depth cost friendly options, lodging, food, destination spots, popular visitor locations, and Instagram worthy photo ops of course. But mostly I want to find the hidden gems, the locally owned businesses, the small town farmers markets, the "at home" feel diners. I want to find inspiration, culture, knowledge, understanding.... adventure.

I would love to meet new people along the way, find new activities and hobbies to take advantage of, learn new songs to sing. I am really excited for a new adventure... but also terrified. I just really need to find a way to accomplish it all... I need a starting point... maybe start with another cup of coffee first?... That always seems to be the perfect option for me.

....and so it begins...

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